The problem is that one time I told "Jim" (not his real name) that when I grow up I want to go into marketing. Well, Jim, who wants to be a game designer, said that we'd never see eye to eye because game designers and marketeers never do. Now he won't have anything to do with me. Every time he sees me he just sneers and mutters something about stupid marketing people.
I know we could be happy if he would just give it a chance. Gabby, please tell me what to do!
Signed,
Miserable in Marketing
Dear M 'n M,
Bag the close-minded jerk and
win a date with Mike Dornbrook! He loves both
Infocom AND marketing. He even loves to work all night and all weekend
without taking a vacation. So he's sure to love you too.
Dear Gabby,
I am a home-owner who takes a great deal of pride in my yard as well as my
house. I have worked very hard to make my backyard a place that is not only
pleasing to the eye but also pleasing to the soul. Now, after several months
of hard work, the only thing I need to attain this goal is a fence. A fence
would block from view a rather unsightly woodpile on my neighbor's property,
and it would give me the peace and solitude that I'd like.
When I asked my neighbors if they would mind a fence along the property line, they were perfectly agreeable. But when I started putting the fence up, they became irate. They claimed I was putting the fence in their yard, a foot in from the property line. I showed them the deed to my house which confirmed that I was correct in my assumption of the property line, but it didn't dull their hostility.
What should I do? I absolutely don't want to make enemies of my neighbors. But shouldn't I stand up for what's rightfully mine?
Signed,
Straddling the Fence
Dear Straddling,
Boy, that's a toughy! In fact, I don't think I can help you out on this one,
but I know who can ... Mike Dornbrook! Wouldn't ya know it, Mike had the
exact same problem with his fence-building. Win a date with him and he can
tell you all about how he solved this dilemma.
Dear Gabby,
I don't own a refrigerator. As a result, people think I'm really weird. It's
not fair, though. I eat out a lot, so I don't need a refrigerator! I don't
call that weird. I call that pratical. How can I make people understand that
and accept me as I am?
Signed,
No Iced Tea
Dear No Tea,
You can't change the way people think. So what you have to do is find people
who think the way you do. And, as unbelievable as it may seem, there is
someone who thinks like you. You guessed it - Mike Dornbrook! Mike likes to
eat out a lot, and he too is refrigeratorless. So get togetherwith him. Win a
date with Mike!
The Status Line; Vol. V, No. 3; Summer 1986; Lawsuit Edition; page 12
Copyright 1986 (c) Infocom
Thanks to David Jinks for transcribing and donating this article.