I've never been a fan of makeup. At best, it strikes me as a bizarre religious ritual, like war paint. At worst, it makes me think there is a carefully stage-managed deception going on. Often I have seen someone carefully dolled up and thought to myself, "Why do you put that crap on your face?"

It turns out that maybe the question should have been phrased, "Do you know that you're putting crap on your face?" — Professor Elizabeth Brooks from Rowan University conducted a 14-week university study of store makeup counters and found high levels of bacteria in the makeup, including dangerous levels of E. Coli from fecal matter.

So, ladies, please, stop putting crap on your face. You look better in natural colors anyway.